Sunday, April 11, 2010

Did I ever say that retirement cannot have come soon enough.





Gosh, retirement for a fat old masturbator hermit like me is like being in heaven. I had a full schedule today and I finished early (ha, ha). My list of things to do were to get up and go to mall to walk around before the stores open to get my exercise -Check. Then I went to the big box store to buy a copy of the local Sunday paper (you can save $0.50 versus buying from a news box) -Check. Then it is home to plop down in front of the TV to watch some recorded shows while reading the headlines in the paper -Check. Hey, finished the list already, now what to do it's only 12:30 p.m. I know, I will take a nap. Did I say retirement is great. I put my latest CD purchase into the CD player, set the sound level properly for a nap and get under the covers of the bed. The bright sunshine shining into the bedroom does not bother with my sleeping ability. After working over 20 years on a swing shift, I got used to sleeping during the day. So here I am ready for a nap and I start to get into the music and the beat. Because I am obese, sleeping on my back can sometimes be difficult and I almost always sleep on my side. So I am laying on my side reacting to the beat and I start movements of my body with the beat of the music. Then for some reason I start to move my pelvis forward and back while laying on my side. It does not take very long before my little shriveled up penis buried under my thigh fat and deep within my huge excess of skin that makes up my ball sack starts sending a signal to my brain that it likes what it feels. This always is a good sign. No longer do I have on my list 'take a nap', no longer do I have on my list 'enjoy the music while drifting off to sleep'. Zooming up to #1 on my list is to see if by moving my pelvis I can make my shy little penis start to grow and maybe poke it's head out of the excess of skin that is my ball sack. Ah yes, I have played this game before. I try to see if I can make my penis get stiff without touching it with my hand. It's fun to try (for me, a dirty old fart) and enjoy what gives me such pleasure. The no touch hard on. I am not thinking about the wonderful curves that women have at this point which always makes me hard. I am only concentrating on my penis and how it feels. I am wondering if I can get my little penis to expel just a little bit of pre-cum and make a smelly sticky mess to the inside of my boxers.
The outcome I was looking for was not to be today once my little penis started sending signals to my brain. It has been about 3 or 4 days since I last played with my penis and I know that I am just avoiding touching it. So, on one hand I might be a little disappointed knowing that I will not be able to leave my penis alone and play the no touch game much longer, but on the other hand I cannot wait until I am able to spill my seed and make the sticky mess that I have missed for several days.
Knowing my fate, I get up out of the bed and go down to the office and turn the confuser on and let it warm up. I go and retrieve my catch towel and place it in position, get my boy butter tub, remove my boxers so that I am naked and ready to explore once again all of the wonderful views I am able to find on the Internet of women and the curves they have that bring me so much enjoyment. Ah yes, retirement. I never thought that while I was working for over 32 years at one company and putting in tremendous amounts of overtime the dividends of that work would pay off so well for this obese dirty old man.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Not Today


When you are in love with your own penis, it is hard to ever not come around to playing with it. I am on the Internet doing research on things that I have been meaning to catch up on. Now these things have nothing to do with my desire to masturbate, but being on the Internet often makes me want to play with myself. I have been surfing now about a hour and a half and my boxers have started to squeeze/pinch my skin between my left ball sack and my left inner thigh. So as I lift up my large butt from the seat of the chair so that I can re-adjust my boxers and relieve the pain that they are causing me, I happen to touch my ball sack and give it a tug as well. Of course doing that sets me off into a new surfing venture. What I was doing before will now have to wait for another day. The innocent touch of my ball sack has triggered a response in my brain that I need to play with myself. I can't control the urge. I must release my seed. Sadly, I will not be able to edge because I have to be somewhere shortly. I need to enter into the world of the young (at least my world when I was young). Back when I was young, I could toss a load fairly fast. I did it fast because I was hogging up the bathroom back then and did not want to be discovered or found out. I think all boys fear being discovered or found out. It is not until boys become men that we find out that we were not fooling anybody. Most of the time it remains unaddressed by those who know. I recently was watching a new show on TV called 'Parenthood' where the subject of male teenage masturbation was a major theme of the episode. Did I mention that the discussion involved a mother and daughter talking about male (son/brother) masturbation and hogging the bathroom. Oh boy, that's all I need to think about to wind me up. I am sure that I can still do it in less than 2 minutes if I wanted. The one thing about being an old fart like me is that you often have lots of time to toss a load, so speed is no longer necessary. If I wanted to, I could tie up the bathroom all day because it is only me in the house. Looking back at my youth, masturbating in the bathroom satisfied a need, but could not have been satisfying. Getting to lounge around bare ass naked sitting in front of the computer screen while stroking my penis is pure joy to this retired obese old fart who has no other outlet for sexual release. I no longer need to sit on the toilet while playing with my penis. Oh, Oh, there I go starting to play with my ball sack. It is still early in my journey and my little penis head is still hidden behind the excess skin of my ball sack which completely makes my penis disappear until it gets hard and pokes it head out. Like I said before, I really need to get going, so I must move on today. Bye for now.